Thursday, March 24, 2011

a bittersweet term.

i've been a nonstop complaining mess about my senior year even before it began, but i had an epiphany within the last few days.

with the term ending tomorrow, i am one away from graduation. with that brings excitement and a whole slew of emotions. this is it. people i have gone to school with for 13 years will become strangers within months. our lives will begin in different directions. some may be preparing for college and moving out. others-particularly those of the male species will be heading off on their missions. weddings will take place and careers will be formed.

when did this happen? when did i become old enough to graduate high school? i feel as if i'm dreaming and i'll wake up back in the third grade worrying about who i would sit next to on the "rug" during story time. i look at my students from my internship and i envy them. i envy their care free life style. i envy their desire to learn and their love for school. these ten year olds have the biggest hearts and are selfless beings. when did i loose sight of this? i seem to have forgotten what going to school is all about. i've been so negative about my senior year experience. i haven't given it much of a chance.

with time running out, i made the decision to make this last term a good one. i'm being social and going to the senior dinner dance tonight. i've found myself being a lot less care free and going with the flow, laughing more and being slightly social. i set a goal to finish off high school strong and for a while i meant grade wise, but i'm changing my mind, i'm finishing off high school with the best memories and some fun.

i can feel the bittersweet moments are approaching. taking those pictures with the girls i've been friends with since kindergarten and walking through pleasant grove for the last time. going to my internship and saying goodbye to my students. picking up my last yearbook and saying goodbye to those i've grown up with. though its time to move on in our lives, its tough to leave the past behind.

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