Wednesday, June 8, 2011

tender mercies.

the Lord is there and He answers prayers.

i started writing this last night and ended up saving it to my drafts
dear boy,

life is changing all around me. you know better than anyone how much i hate change. i'm in a whole new playing field these days. associating with those from all over and attending the dreaded singles ward. nothing is as it was two weeks ago. my life is turning upside town and i am scared. i'm scared of what is going to happen next. the uncertainty is over whelming. and i'm trying my hardest to handle this as a grown up, but my emotions are taking hold of me and i'm fighting back tears. i can only do so much.

of all that is happening around me, i can say i know one thing to be certain. my love for you. as we continue to be miles apart, i continue to feel your spirit around me. i feel your prayers and i feel your concern. and i'm trying not to be so selfish but, i need you. i need you to tell me everything is going to be okay. i need you hold me tight and kiss me on the forehead. i need you to whisper i love you. i need your hand to hold. the world is getting me down and i need you to help me back up.

not expecting a letter today, (most days i know i am getting one, today it was surprise) i ripped the envelope open and read this.

"[gradutation] its a big day and its a big step. however, it is a good step. but you annie lawrence are now your own master. how does it feel, good? thats what i thought. you can now make from your life what ever you want of it. given with that comes responsibility, but there are also the greatest adventures in life waiting in the future for you. the future always has promises. ya, they can be scary and they can be hard, they being future events. but what you said was 100% true, you've got a testimony, a great up bringing, amazing parents and if worse comes to worse you can come to me and i'll just kiss you and tell you all will be ok. :) but dont be scared of facing life...mark twain once wrote "a person pessimistic before the age of 45 knows too much" and last time i checked your still under the age of 45, so you are not allowed to be scared or worried about the future. so instead of going out and fighting life, go out and give it one of your amazing annie hugs, and make it a best friend. because life is far to short to fight through." 

as tears streamed down my face, i felt my testimony growing. i felt the Lords hand in my life and i felt the love of my elder.

this is one of the many reasons why i love this boy with all of my heart. he listens to the spirit and knows when i need a pick me up. we're 6,00 miles apart, but we are more in tune with each other than ever before. the Lord has brought us closer together. He answers our prayers through letters and promptings to write one another.

without the knowledge and understanding of this Gospel, i would be one lost little girl. but i will be eternally grateful for my testimony and i lean on it everyday.

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