Thursday, December 15, 2011

a not so happy post.

Willow Rosenberg: Well, he's a fool. He-he's just a big, dumb, jerk person. If you ask me. And-and he's a-a super, maxi-jerk for doing it right before the prom. 
Buffy: That's not his fault. He's 243 years old. He doesn't exactly get the prom. 
Willow Rosenberg: But, he should. If he... 
Buffy: Wil, it's okay. You don't have to make him the bad guy. 
Willow Rosenberg: But, that's the best friend's job. Vilifying and grousing. 
Buffy: Usually, yeah. But he's right. I mean, I think, maybe in the long run, that he's right. 
Willow Rosenberg: Yeah. I think he is. I mean, I tried to hope for the best, but... I'm sorry. Must be horrible. 
Buffy: I think horrible is still coming. Right now, it's worse. Right now, I'm just trying to keep from dying. 
Willow Rosenberg: Oh, Buffy. 
Buffy: I can't breathe, Wil. I feel like I can't breathe. 

so i'm no vampire slayer, and he's no 243 year old vampire, but somehow this is what keeps playing in my mind.

it's an interesting feeling this is. i'm in denial right now. i don't know what else to think. i'm afraid if i start to cry i won't ever stop. 

i have to believe this is true. that though, this pain that i am feeling right now will come to an end. my dreams have turned into a living nightmare. i'm not quite sure what happens next. i guess that is one of the hardest parts. the unknown. for someone who hates the unknown i'm rather scared. my heart is broken and i don't have the instructions on how to mend it. 

here's to eventually right? one day, i'll see the meaning behind this. for an impatient girl, this could be quite the journey. 

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