Saturday, March 3, 2012

a kitchen table



to anyone else, that is just a picture of a kitchen table. but to me, it is everything. surrounded by six chairs, one for each of us, holds memories that i will never forget. fact of the day, i've lived in the same house my whole life.

for nineteen years, six lovely people have gathered around that table. family dinners in this house are spectacular. we laugh until we cry and then we laugh some more. at times, it was just me and my parents. other times, it was just my siblings and i. regardless of the occasion, we sat here. christmas eve dinners, thanksgiving dinners, and birthday dinners all occurred here. this is where i'd sit when i came home for lunch everyday in high school. my heart has been spilled over this table. i've done homework here and i've crafted here. it's the first thing i see when i walk through the door. it's not just a table.

this moving out thing is becoming a reality. i drive up my street and realize soon i won't do that every day. i won't get that sense of peace i get every time i walk through that door, knowing i am home. mother and i were talking when she said "this will always be your home, just not where you live" and it's true. these walls will always be my home. my childhood is here. there is a crack in our fire place tile from the time brad and i decided to make a fort and dropped a weight on it. the half bath near our kitchen is where i spent my timeouts. the right side of my parents bed on the floor is where i slept every time i came down with an illness. each christmas the tree went up in the same place and smelled the same. it's been nineteen years and i cannot believe that in a matter of days, i wont be living here anymore.

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